Better For You
by x'KatieLouise'x
Summary: "I love you, I always will...but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you." Those words haunted him, those words taunted him and those words...killed him. Chuck Bass loved her incandescently; but how could she get back to him? R&R please. xoxo
1. Realisation

**Okay, so I am a new writer to the Gossip Girl scene. I will only be writing one shots because I get bored and start new stories and never get them finished. This however, will be a few chapters long. This is also quite different to my other stuff considering my other stuff is pretty gritty.**

**Please read and review. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Gossip Girl I wouldn't be here writing this right now, instead I'd be writing better scripts that keep Blair and Chuck together forever. And Ed would be mine ;)**

**Better For You**

**Chapter One: Realisation. **

"_I love you, I always will...but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you." _

Those words haunted him, those words taunted him and those words...killed him. His mind, his soul and his heart could not understand why she would even whisper those words to him. Why would she want to hurt him so much that with every breath, every heart beat and every thought he'd break inside? His love for her would never fade, there was not one day that went by that he did not think of her, think of how just a few weeks ago they were finally fulfilling their fairytale until it was taken away from them in a few short seconds. How could everything change in such a short time? He could have rescued her; he would have if Humphrey hadn't meandered his way into her life and changed all the thoughts she'd ever had. He must have manipulated her in some way to make her no longer love him. He must have. There was no other explanation. Why after five years of unconditionally loving him would she no longer feel that way?

"_I love you, I always will...but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you." _

The words would not relent in their constant replay in his already tortured mind. Her face as she said them was the only thing he saw when he closed his eyes and her voice, that sweet, sensual, beautiful, melodic voice just seemed so wrong and heartless as it spoke them.

What happened to _his _Blair to make her whole life change?

"Hey, I didn't think you were coming." Serena immediately wrapped her arms around the poor man in front of her. A diagonal smile crossed his handsome face.

"I was thinking about it." His voice, still so deep and smooth seemed even huskier than ever. Probably due to his excessive drinking over the recent weeks Serena mused.

"Charles!" he turned at the soft exclamation. "I'm so glad you came." Chuck was immediately pulled in for a hug by his adoptive mother. A sudden wave of safety washed over him as he placed his head against her shoulder and a true smile covered his face. "Have a seat next to me won't you?" Lily nodded towards the table where Rufus was placing the finishing touches to the weekly Humphrey brunch. As everyone was seated and began digging in to the delicious food that Rufus had all prepared himself, Chuck couldn't help but feel a swell of love for the three other people that sat at the table with him. Lily was the best replacement mother anyone could ever be lucky enough to have and for her to think of him as if he was her own made him feel even more love for the woman. Rufus, although they had their troubles was also a good person for anyone to turn to in their time of need; and this was definitely one of Chuck's. He knew Rufus would always choose Dan before himself and for that, he couldn't blame him but he also knew the guilt Rufus felt whenever Dan and Blair were brought up in conversation. If it wasn't for Dan, Blair would be with Chuck and everyone knew that all too well. Then of course, there was Serena; she was the perfect 'sister' anyone could want and they could relate well to each other, especially in their recent predicaments. Serena loved Dan; Dan loved Blair. Chuck loved Blair and Blair had feelings for Dan.

How could a group of people's lives get so messed up? It was reminiscent of high school really. Only, there was only three mixed up in that scenario. Nate was the only casualty in that love triangle and even then he wasn't really a casualty. Chuck hoped then, that Dan would be the new victim and in that case, perhaps Serena could be the shoulder for the wimp to cry on.

"Sorry we're late, Blair couldn't find a bag that matched or something." All four heads at the table shot up at the voice that blared down the hal. Serena and Chuck shared looks of horror before Chuck shook the look from his face to replace it with a hard, stern stare. "Oh." Chuck's nostrils flared when both Dan and Blair stopped in their tracks, mouths open in shock. "We thought it would just be the two of you..." Chuck wanted to laugh at humdrum Humphrey's awkwardness.

"Serena and Chuck surprised us." Lily spoke, her mouth a broad smile at the fact her two children had come home after weeks from keeping clear. "And because you were late we thought you weren't coming." Dan's mop of hair swayed as he shook his head.

"No, no, we're here, just like every week." Chuck noticed Serena's eyes roll at Humphrey's statement. Of course he came every week.

Blair remained stationary as Dan took a seat next to his father. The only other seat left was the one right in the middle of Dan and Chuck. Chuck was unsure he would be able to cope with her being in such a close proximity. He doubted he'd be able to keep his composure if he smelt her perfume and saw her bare neck...

"Blair?" Dan questioned pulling the chair back. Chuck wondered if Humphrey was worried about her sitting next to her ex, especially when they were so connected. Dan had been the one in fact to mention how their chemistry should be studied because there were continually drawn to each other. Chuck had to agree with such a thought.

Chuck's brown eyes watched her intently as she bounced from foot to foot slightly before finally removing her coat and sitting in the chair. Chuck took a deep breath when he smelt the strong, distinctive wave of her perfume. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her raise her right leg to cross it over her left. Chuck almost choked when the top of her stocking came into view. She must have noticed because she quickly pulled her skirt back down. She was leaning towards Dan, maybe to be close to him, or perhaps as a way to get as far from Chuck as she could. Chuck for one, suspected the latter. She leant her head against the palm of her left arm unconsciously giving him a clear view of the porcelain skin of her neck.

The scraping sound of his chair made everyone's heads rise in alarm. He stood uncomfortably in front of them and cleared his throat nervously. Since when did Chuck Bass get nervous? "I'm afraid I must be going, I have a business meeting." His usually calm and suave voice was barely recognisable to himself. Why did she have to do this to him? Without another word from anyone he walked from the apartment, not once looking back.

Why did he have to love Blair Waldorf so damned much?

"_I love you, I always will...but that doesn't mean I'm in love with you." _

She knew he was there the moment they stepped into the lobby of the apartment building. The air was thick with the musky scent of his aftershave and as strange to some people as it may be, she simply sensed that Chuck Bass was in the vicinity. Maybe it was their strong, uncontrollable pull that made her senses fill with everything that was Chuck or maybe he imprinted everywhere he went, just like he'd imprinted on her heart.

"_Is this about saving my life again, because I thought we were past that? You wanted to wait until your marriage was over, and now it's over...because I love you." _

She wondered if Dan had realised her sudden silence and nervousness as they rode the elevator to the Van Der Woodsen- Humphrey apartment. Of course, his chatter was plenty enough for the both of them. Her heart was beating wildly in her chest and she could have sworn she heard his deep voice through the thick metal doors. Why did she care? Wasn't she the one that had finally ended all ties with him to be with Dan?

But at that precise moment, the only question that hung in her head was why in the world did she do that?

Chuck Bass loved her incandescently; more than his own life, more than anyone had ever and probably would ever love her. Sure, Dan would love her and care for her and would easily never hurt her but where was that passion that she and Chuck shared? Where was that burning chemistry that left her quivering for something as simple as a touch? She hated herself for questioning her relationship with Dan; she should be happy, she had broken Chuck's heart for this so surely it should be worth it? It should be enough?

Then why did the look on Chuck's face when she'd told him she no longer loved him haunt her every thought. He looked like someone had told him she'd died. Maybe to him she had.

"_Is this about saving my life again, because I thought we were past that? You wanted to wait until your marriage was over, and now it's over...because I love you." _

"Sorry we're late, Blair couldn't find a bag that matched or something." She hadn't even noticed that she'd walked into the sitting area of the apartment until Dan spoke. She refused to even look in Chuck's direction. There was no knowing what would happen considering how fast her heart was now beating and by the quick glance she threw in his direction he also refused to look at her.

She fought back the sudden urge to run to him, to wrap her arms around him and cry into his shoulder, beg him to take her back; that she'd made a mistake and that she loved him. Of course, she knew she couldn't do such a thing. He may resent such a show of affection and for all she knew, he could now hate her.

"We thought it would just be the two of you..." Blair's eyes glanced to Dan. Really? Did he not sense Chuck's presence too? Maybe it was simply their electricity that made only her sense him she pondered.

"Serena and Chuck surprised us. And because you were late we thought you weren't coming." Blair's eyes flashed to her best friend that almost seemed like a stranger to her now. Even Serena refused to look at her and all for what? Dan Humphrey. Was that really worth it? _No. _Blair shook her head slightly at the thought. She had to work through it with Dan. She had to. It wouldn't be fair to him; it wouldn't be fair to Serena or Chuck. It wouldn't be fair to her.

"No, no, we're here, just like every week." Blair fought to not roll her eyes at Dan's statement. Just like every week. She had to pretend to enjoy these little family gatherings every. Single. Week.

Dan made his way over to the table and Blair continued to stand where she was. Why did Dan just leave the seat next to Chuck free? Did he want to test her? Was it a trick? _Of course not Blair, the man's going to sit next to his father. _But what if it was? Could she handle sitting next to Chuck? She doubted it. The smell of him was already sending her into a daze. Maybe she should just run away now? No, just go sit down.

"Blair?" Her eyes widened slightly when she realised just how long she'd been standing there. She quickly removed her jacket and took the seat left for her. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed Chuck's hand form a fist against his thigh and his eyes were looking down at her leg. Noticing her stocking was in full view made her quickly pull her skirt down but not before feeling a giddy feeling that she could still make Chuck Bass tick.

She purposefully began leaning towards Dan but not in the way she probably should have, but instead because Chuck was unconsciously pulling her to him. Everyone was right; they did have a strange cosmic pull towards each other and she wanted nothing more than to give heed to it. She missed him. She well and truly missed everything about him. And it was all her fault.

"I'm afraid I must be going, I have a business meeting." Her head shifted to her right as soon as she felt his presence shift next to her. _Don't go. _She hated the fact that it was her that was causing him to leave so soon. She had no idea how much she'd missed him until he was with her at that moment. How long could she pretend she no longer loved him? How long could she continue pretending it was Dan that made her happy? She watched him as he left the room, walking in his Chuck Bass walk. _Don't go. _

"_Is this about saving my life again, because I thought we were past that? You wanted to wait until your marriage was over, and now it's over...because I love you." _

**Okay so a short introductory kind of chapter. This will be 4 chapters max. **

**Review please. It means so much. **

**Xoxo**


	2. Irrevocably

**First I just want to thank you all for reviewing, favouriting, story alerting. You have no idea how much it means to me. **

**Okay so chapter two. Will they, won't they? :P  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl or any of the quotes I may use. If I did...well you all know, Chuck and Blair would be living happily ever after and Dan would be getting a haircut somewhere in Brooklyn. **

**Better For You**

**Chapter Two: Irrevocably**

"_Two people that are meant to be together, eventually they'll find their way back_."

He doubted that was even half true anymore. They'd almost made it back, they'd almost been _them _again and then that horrible twist of fate had to condemn them. Chuck swilled his scotch around his glass as he sat in his very quiet apartment. He was dressed in a classic black tuxedo ready to head to whatever party it was that night only, for what could be the first time, it was the last place he wanted to be. He wanted to simply stay in, get drunk, smoke whatever he could find in Nate's room and sleep until midday. Proof that Chuck Bass was indeed a broken man.

"Okay, ready to go," Nate spoke as he entered the room, pulling at his shirt sleeve. "Earth to Chuck?" Chuck's eyes finally turned to his best friend.

"Right, let's go then." Chuck quickly gulped down the last of his drink as he stood. The entire journey to the party was in complete silence; truth was that Nate had no idea how to talk to the man currently staring out of the window seemingly mesmerized by the city they had grown up in. The journey was pretty quick and soon they were arriving at the Plaza Hotel.

"What's this in aid of again?" Nate's question finally broke the silence as they exited the black stretch limo.

"Some charity or other," Chuck shrugged; he never really knew what he was RSVP-ing to anymore. Blair was the one that usually did that for him, or perhaps Serena. "It's just another excuse to sign another big cheque and get drunk."

The ballroom was completely full of men and women dressed in their best. Both Chuck and Nate shook hands and said the occasional hello to those people they knew as they passed. They walked straight to the bar where Serena was always seated. "You look...wow." Nate grinned at her as he kissed her cheek in greeting. She laughed before nodding her 'hello' to Chuck.

Chuck felt the air suddenly get thick. Oxygen didn't seem to exist anymore as he turned already knowing exactly what it was he would see. Blair. She looked...well words could not do her beauty justice at that precise moment. He was sure she'd dressed to emulate the great women of old Hollywood; she looked as if she'd just walked off of the set of an Audrey Hepburn movie. He froze when her eyes met his.

"_Two people that are meant to be together, eventually they'll find their way back_."

No one else existed in that split second; not Serena who was laughing next to him, Nate who was trying to get his attention or even Dan, whose hand, in reality, was linked to Blair's own. He couldn't breathe; he could have died right there and then happily because he was lucky enough to see her beauty one last time. "Blair," he whispered the word to no one, the need to say it just caused it to spill from his lips.

"Blair!" Serena falling into him finally caused his daze to end. "I'm so happy to see you!" Serena, clearly on her way to being extremely drunk wrapped her arms around her best friend.

"Serena? Are you drunk?" Blair questioned as she tried to make Serena stand up straight and not lean against her. Serena's finger pushed against her lips in a keep it a secret kind of way. "Nate, can you?" Blair indicated to taking Serena away from her as her friend fell into her side once more. With Serena finally out of the way Chuck turned his attention back to the brunette beauty in front of him. Their eyes met again and Chuck had a feeling that she longed for the moment just like he did. But that couldn't be could it? She was the one that told him it was over. She was the one that now had Dan Humphrey. But why else would her eyes continue to bore into his?

"Blair? Care to dance?" Chuck's eyes narrowed suddenly as Humphrey wrapped his arm around Blair's shoulder to guide her to the dance floor. He hated the fact she just seemed to do as she told; she just allowed him to push her elsewhere. But not without one last glance in Chuck's direction.

"_Two people that are meant to be together, eventually they'll find their way back_."

xoxo

"_Because it made me realize I wanted to be with you."_

Did she? Did she still want to be with him after everything? Maybe...Did she still love him? Most definitely. Why was it all so confusing?

"I'm going to bed, you coming?" Blair shook her head. "Okay," she knew Dan was upset with her, as soon as she had seen Chuck her mind had led her elsewhere and Dan had tried to no avail to get her attention. "Goodnight." She smiled up at him as he kissed her head and caressed her cheek delicately with his hand. Blair cared for him. She would not allow anyone to tell her otherwise because it was indeed true. But caring for a person and loving a person were at opposite sides of the spectrum. Would she ever feel that way for Dan?

Not when a man known as Chuck Bass existed.

"_Because it made me realize I wanted to be with you."_

Blair sat in silence, only moving to turn her head in the direction of Dan's bedroom when she heard his light shut off. She absentmindedly played with the ruby red ring on her finger as she continued staring at nothing. Her mind was spinning out of control. Chuck was ruling her mind; every thought was consumed with him. How did this happen? She had made her decision. She was finally free of Louis and free to be with Dan completely and yet, as soon as she had made her choice she knew it was the wrong one. Why was it all so confusing? Why did Chuck have to be...Chuck?

As soon as she saw him at the party she wanted to be near him, she wanted to be able to smell his scent every time she turned his way, she wanted to feel his body heat radiate off of him but most of all, out of all else, she wanted his arms to be around her instead of Dan's. Dan had tried his best to get her as far away from Chuck Bass as he possibly could and for a while it worked. Until a cold shiver suddenly engulfed her small body. Something was wrong. Something didn't sit right. Chuck.

She'd spun on her heel as soon as the chills set in; it was that damned connection between them again, forewarning her of something she would not enjoy. And boy didn't she.

Her eyes found him within a second. He was no longer alone; instead he was with someone she didn't know. Someone a lot taller than herself, a lot blonder and a lot slimmer. She felt the bile begin to rise in her throat when the girls slim pointer finger trailed itself down the front of his shirt, trying her very best to tantalize him. Chuck's expression made it known that it definitely was. In one blink of an eye the girls tongue was down his throat and his down hers. Blair wanted to die. She immediately turned from them and begged Dan to take her home stating she was tired and bored. Dan knew better. She hadn't spoken the entire drive back to Dan's and she wasn't about to open her mouth to speak because even she didn't know what would come out.

She continued to spin the ring on her finger as her thoughts danced back and forth. Two things stood out in the spinning tornado of her mind: did he take her home with him? Had she made the right choice?

She knew the answer to one of those questions; it was obvious.

Finally Blair heaved herself off of the fading fabric sofa and quietly walked into the bedroom. She smiled seeing Dan sleep peacefully.

"_Because it made me realize I wanted to be with you."_

She continued to sit there with her chin resting delicately on her bent knees. Things could have been so different, if they were, she definitely would not be sitting in Dan Humphrey's bed right now. She'd probably be with Chuck.

If she had forgiven him after bargaining her for his hotel: they'd be together. _"I never thought the worst thing you'd ever do would be to me."_

If she had forgiven him for that he would have never slept with Jenny Humphrey: and they'd be together. _"Blair, I thought you didn't love me anymore. I didn't care if I lived or died. Jenny Humphrey was-"_

If she had never allowed him to even let her think about choosing Louis over him: they'd be together. _"There's a difference between a great love and the right love. I left the Empire State Building last year after two minutes when you didn't show. Louis waited all night. This is your chance at happiness. You think you shouldn't want it 'cause you've never had it and it scares you. But you deserve your fairytale."_

She glanced down to her left again and the smile dropped from her face as a tear slid down her rosy cheeks. She just wanted to know. She just _needed _to know.

"_Because it made me realize I wanted to be with you."_

Xoxo

Blair's foot tapped impatiently as she waited for the elevator to arrive at its destination. She was acting like a crazy person but she just had to _know. _

Finally the bell chimed and the elevator came to a stop. She waited a moment, trying to compose herself. What was she thinking? The doors opened and slowly, she stepped from the small confinement and into the large apartment. She walked gently, trying to be as quiet as she possibly could. What was she thinking?

"Blair?" she turned on her heel and placed her hand to her chest.

"You scared me!" she exclaimed. Chuck's forehead furrowed.

"Says the girl sneaking into my apartment." She felt the blush flood her cheeks; he was always the only one that could do that.

"Sorry." She glanced around. "Is...Nate here?" she asked, her fingers fiddling.

"You came all this way, at midnight, in your pajamas to see Nathanial?" She frowned not wanting to melt at the sound of his husky voice but she failed miserably. Why was Chuck Bass so...Chuck Bass?

She shook her head. Why was it so difficult for her to say it? She should have just come out with it straight away. She was reminded of high school when they both struggled to say those three words.

_"The true reason I should stay right where I am and not get in the car. Three words, eight letters, say it, and I'm yours."_

_"Not quite. Eight letters, three syllables, say them and I'm yours."_

_"No..." she took a deep breath. "I came to see you actually." Chuck's eyebrow rose curiously. _

_"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he asked taking a seat on his sofa. His hand indicated for her to go on. _

_"I...uhh...I wanted to see if you brought that mini Jenny Humphrey home with you." She tried to sound nonchalant but knew she failed. _

_Chuck's chuckle sent a round of shivers through her. "Why would you care if I brought her home with me? We're not together..." _

_"I know." Blair paced back and forth for a moment before taking a seat opposite him. She needed to tell him; why did it have to be so hard? _

_"Then why Blair?" She noticed the sudden change in his voice; it was deeper than before. She couldn't tell if he was suddenly angry with her or passion had rapidly raced through his system as it had hers. _

_"Why didn't you?" She questioned, she saw his face twist and she knew for sure that it was anger this time. _

_"Why can't you just tell me why you're really here Blair?" He was standing as soon as the question left his lips. _

_"Why can't you just tell me why you didn't bring her home?" Blair also stood. Their faces were centimeters away from each other. She could smell him clearly; she could feel his body heat and his lips were so tantalizingly close to her own. __Kiss me. _

_ "You want to know? You really want to know?" His voice had calmed slightly and she nodded as her eyes glanced to his lips. __Kiss me. __"Because the thought of being with anyone else sickens me. Because I'm so incredibly and madly in love with __you__ that until that feeling disappears I don't want to hold anyone else in my arms, I don't want to be with anyone. I __can't.__" _

_Without a seconds thought she leant forward and crashed her lips to his own. Their kiss was feverous and showed the other exactly what they had been missing these few months. They finally parted and she already craved to feel his lips against her own again. Her eyes met his and she could feel the tears build at the back of her own; the way he was looking at her, holding her, __loving __her was just like a dream that she never wanted to wake up from. _

_"Why did you really come here Blair?" he questioned, his finger gently caressing her cheek. _

"Because..." she took a deep breath. "Because I needed to see you, I knew she wouldn't be here; I could feel it in my bones that you didn't bring her." he nodded, a smile creeping up on his ever so handsome face. _Kiss me again. _"I miss you...I love you." The large grin that covered his face was so beautiful to her; she knew that it was only her that could make him smile in that way.

"I'm not letting you go this time. Ever." He stated pulling her close. 

"Good because I'm not planning on going anywhere." The grin on his perfect face grew even larger.

"I love you." He leant forward and attached their lips. This kiss was calmer than the previous; it showed a passion that only two people who love each other could make.

"I love you too."

_"I love you, I love you, that's three, four, I love you."_

_**One more chapter after this. I hope you liked it! Review please! (: **_


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